Learning to meditate

Meditation is good for you. It helps you:

• Develop better awareness of your thoughts and feelings
• Approach negative emotions with a gentle, nonjudgmental touch
• Notice thoughts and feeling as they come up

This piece describes how I overcame problems with meditation and learned to meditate daily.

Problems

When learning to meditate, I ran into problems.

1. Jumping off the deep end

The first meditation app I tried was Insight Timer. The app has a giant collection of meditation resources, but it's unclear where to start. I tried some 20-30 minute meditations and unstructured periods of silence. I didn't like it - it was hard to maintain focus or to know what to do.

Instead, if you're new to meditation, start with short, guided meditations. You can then work your way up to longer meditations or meditating without guidance.

2. Building endurance

Many sources recommend 10-15 minutes of meditation, but I found that recommendation intimidating. I didn't think I could meditate for that long, and I didn't think long meditations were useful.

To build up my endurance, I started with very short meditations on Headspace:

• A "Breathe" meditation that's 1-3 min
• 1 min breathing exercises where you take 5 deep breaths
• Assorted meditations that are 3 min or 5 min

I got used to 10 minute meditations and now prefer them to shorter ones. There's more time to sit with yourself and understand what's going on. With the shorter sessions, it feels like it's over just when you're getting started.

3. Scheduling

At first, I didn't have a fixed time/place for meditation. Without a concrete plan, I'd forget to meditate or never get around to it.

Like with any new habit, it's easier to build the habit when you have a specific plan. One technique is to link the new habit to your existing routine. I ended up building meditation into my morning routine: I wake up, drink coffee, and then sit on the couch to meditate. I love mornings, and it helps me start my day right.

Daily practice

Now, I meditate for 10 minutes a day using the Headspace meditation app. It teaches meditation through goofy blob creatures, and the playful approach makes me smile.

Headspace has 10 day courses on topics such as anxiety and kindness, and each course features different techniques. Some techniques are easier than others for me. Even for the difficult techniques, it's been useful to stick with it and see how my mind reacts. Here's what I've learned:

• Body scan is a technique where you mentally scan across your body from the toes upwards. It's relaxing and reminds me to not be so caught up in my head.
• Visualization is a technique where you imagine a warm stream of sunlight pouring through you, starting at your toes and filling up your body. This is my favorite technique - it feels cozy and effortless.
• Noting is a technique where you gently label thoughts and feelings as they arise. This is hard for me because I can get caught up in thought. To address that, Andy from Headspace breaks down noting into different layers:
  1. Is it thinking or feeling?
  2. Is it positive or negative?
  3. Name the experience with curiosity
  I find it helpful to practice the most basic version (Is it thinking or feeling?) instead of trying to list every distraction or overthink the exercise.

Note that you can't just read meditation exercises to get the benefit - you have to put them into practice. You can try out a few techniques and see how they feel.

Conclusion

Meditation isn't an easy fix. I didn't notice much of a change at first, but over time, I started to notice the benefits of meditation in my life. When I have a stressful work project or a kerfuffle with my partner, I find it easier to notice and process my emotions. Meditation gives you more self-awareness and understanding, and I'm glad I learned to meditate.